Tuesday, October 2, 2007
Sometimes Music does fit
"Welcome to My Life" by Simple Plan came on the stereo while we were driving back from visiting the in-laws. It was a rough weekend with infertility issues. The depression that occurs at the end and beginning of each cycle is really heavy and sometimes feels unbearable.
This was the song that seemed to fit my state of mind on Sunday.
On Mondays, DH and I have a holy hour at a local parish. Last night, I spent my hour pouring my heart out to the Lord. I won't go into the rant/rage that made it's way from my heart into my journal, but I will share a closing piece of what I wrote.
I know that as a woman, I am called to be Bride and Mother. Right now I only feel like half of that equation. Where am I called to be mother? I see emptiness...barreness ahead of me. Whom else can I love? Whom else can I love with my mother's heart? Teach me true motherhood, Lord. I don't have the eyes to see it. Guide me, tell me, help me. Lord, I am helpless now and weak...
Today, the sky is brightening a bit. (Inspite of the rain all day:) I can see some light at the end of this tunnel. I don't know about tomorrow, but today there is brightness. The song for today would be "Pressing On" by Relient K.